A Beginner’s Perspective into the Art of Outlier Fundamentals

By: Giovanni Curcio

 

“You’re doing it wrong.”

…

I’m hunched over in front of a whiteboard covered in acronyms, numbers, and formulas reminiscent of high school calculus, in as painfully low a squat as I’m physically capable of – and my coach is telling me I’m doing it wrong.

Great.

I’m not exactly what you’d call an athlete, but I’m fairly active. I run along Sunset Cliffs on the weekends, I participate in the occasional San Diego mud run, and I certainly assumed by now, at age 28, I could perform a squat correctly.

Apparently not.

My coach, Abdul, a bearded CrossFit enthusiast no older than myself, gives me a pat on the back and tells me to stand again. He smiles nonchalantly and says, “Two things. One, dig in your heels. Two, arch your back and push out your butt.”

“Technically, that’s three.” I retort.

Abdul waves his hand like he’s dispelling a bad odor. “Try it again, but don’t let your knees lead your squat. Lead with your butt, keep your weight in your heels, and make sure your back is tight. Trust me, you’ll thank me later when you’re doing this with 225 lbs. on your traps.”

Oh, goodie.

So, to the best of my ability, I try again. Abdul shows me how to extend my arms and use them as a gauge for alignment by holding them in front of the whiteboard as I squat. When my palms come close to touching the board, I’m leaning too far forward – which I’m prone to do, since a lifetime of martial arts and boxing has taught me to always be on my toes, never my heels.

Ironically, if I’m to survive in CrossFit, I’ll have to relearn how to distribute my weight through my footing. This task sounds much easier than its practical follow-through.

Coach Abdul instructs me again to lead with my butt, and to open up my knees.

I withhold a chuckle at his poor phrasing.

“Stop, right there.” He commands just as I sink into my squat.

Abdul circles around me and places a fist along my lower back, “Feel this right here? You need to maintain your arch and suck your belly button into your spine, imagine you can still feel my knuckles – you have a tendency to fold forward, and you’re wasting energy by not keeping your back tight.”

So, I tighten up.

“There we go. How does that feel?”

“Painful.” I exhale.

“Open up your knees more. No—“ he stops me, “—don’t move your feet, keep them there, just open your knees.”

Gradually, I do as I’m instructed, and strangely, I feel the strain dissipate. Slightly.

“Whoa…” I remark as my posture naturally corrects itself, and I sink lower with less effort.

“There we go.” Abdul returns to my field of vision and points to my inner thighs. “Now you’re actually using your legs, not your back, to do the squat. Push through the center of your foot, like you’re pushing the earth away.”

Again, I do as I’m told, and with considerable ease, I’m able to rise to my standing position.

“There you go.” He pats my back again, “So that sir, is what we call an air squat. You ready for the others?”

“…there’s more than one squat?”

Abdul points to the whiteboard, a massive white smile peeks through his glorious beard – in bright red letters, he’s written ‘ALL OF THE SQUATS!!!’ with a hastily scrawled list that follows: Air Squat, Back Squat, Front Squat, Overhead Squat.

“That’s all we’re doing today? Squats?” I ask.

“It’s the bread and butter of CrossFit, my friend.” He reaches for a PVC pipe suspiciously painted to resemble a red Lightsaber, “You gotta master the basics before you take off the training wheels. Safety always comes first at Outlier CrossFit, and we need to make sure you’ve got the form down so you can prevent injuries later on.”

“How long do I need the training wheels?”

Abdul tosses me the PVC pipe and shrugs. “Our policy is four fundamental lessons, each with 1:1 instruction. After that, myself or one of the other coaches will keep an eye on you during the classes to make sure you’re good to go.”

“So I need three more of these?”

“Oh yes. It’s gonna be fun.”

I look at the board, at the list of squats he’s written. Somewhere near the bottom is the name CINDY underlined three times. “Who’s CINDY?” I ask, “And why is she a part of my first workout?”

Abdul grins. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s get through the other squats, and then I’ll introduce you to CINDY. You’re going to like her – I promise.”